Another Entry

I decided to make another entry because I was very depressed about my way of thinking, my reality break down and how I feel about it. After praying hard and long (because I am a religious woman) I came to the realization that I'm crying while I'm not helping. What good is it to kill myself if I didn't try harder? What about my parents? What about the cost? I'm not a child anymore, I'm 28 years old and I have to realize things don't always go your way, even with my ex, I can't make him change his mind, like nobody can make me change mine. So I have to respect others space like they respect mine; but it's hard, damn hard to keep my mind out of the obsessions, out of the going crazy feeling and out of the "I'm divided in two" idea. I'm a crazy b****, but I'm not a bad person, I'm very sick and I want to get better, but I've been bad, and I have to deal with the consequences, no matter how difficult that is. As you can see I'm a very complicated person (religious and rock? Reincarnation and life out of earth? Bipolar Disorder? Agoraphobic? Ocd? God forbid I get married again!!) I'm bossy, very bossy and a chronic perfectionist but I'm not bad. Many guys told me, you have to find a guy that loves you that way, with flaws and everything, well I don't think so, I think if you can be a better version of yourself everyday you have to be, so I fight against that, I can't act like a kid I need to grow up. So I do realize, what a coward I've been, thinking about suicide? Noooo, think about fighting, about getting better, about being the best version of yourself. You can do this woman you're not a child anymore...

Selene Luna 🌙