Sunday and a little bored

Today's Sunday, I'm very very bored, I have nothing to do but it's already late so it's ok because soon will be Monday. I wish I could had a job like everyone else does so I don't spend my lazy days walking from one extreme to the other, from the kitchen to my room and from my room to my brother's etc, because you see, I feel extremely anxious lately as if I'm waiting for something good or bad to happen so my chest feels as if someone's pressing on it and I can't breath. My pills are running low and last time they run out I couldn't get them until like 2 weeks later and at the end I felt so sick I was just there I didn't cared if I died or lived, I was depressed but at the same time was so anxious and talking so fast nobody could stop me. I'm getting a little better but sometimes I wish someone could stay with me, someone loved me and cared about me. I feel so ugly and sad, so mad at myself for being who I am I can hardly stand it. But I tend to forget nobody's perfect, still I hope the doctor, the pills and the therapist can help, because I am going nuts with my obsessions, still suicide it's not an option.
Mireya Luna 🌒